Beer aur Biwi…

Biwi (Hindi) = Wife (English)

One evening at a shopping mall… what was just another shopping trip turned out to be the most hilarious experience ever! A couple, were walking down an aisle of a posh shopping mall, picking grocery for the month. Default setup, wife walking ahead and picking up stuff and a sad hubby pushing the trolley and walking behind his wife… with occasional suggestions to pick up stuff like, raisins, groundnuts then in the toys section poor fellow wanted a spider man which were all rejected with absolute disdain.

I was so much occupied watching this little sweet shopping trip that I almost forgot what I had come for. So, went straight to the toy section picked up my favorite Transformer toy and reached the checkout counter.

Long queues again, so I tuned into my channel again. The wife was at the wine and spirits section and prompting the hubby to come over to pick a beer of his choice. The section is usually close to checkout counters so I couldn’t resist and did some eavesdropping.

Wife: Which beer do you normally prefer?
Hubby: Fosters J

Wife: Ok then, lets pick up one.
Hubby: One? Only one? Are you sure? We are doing our monthly shopping!!!

Wife: (Frowns and gently warns him) Dear, just one should be fine. Always get a brand check it out and if you like it, go for it, otherwise we could always change can’t we? (She picks up the small pint bottle).

Hubby was a proud and happy man! Definitely should have got a clue here when she said “checkout the brand” and at least when she picked 1 small pint! Anyway…

They walked away, leaving me high and dry…

Well, life as it turns out is not WYSIWYG!

Next week again, I was there standing in the long queue waiting to return the toy. Yes, my wife had some “assertive discussions” with me and I was back there promptly to return my favorite toy back L

Coincidentally I met that lucky guy again! We were in the queue and started a conversation… Each of us was explaining why we were back and stuff. I congratulated him for the kind of life he enjoyed and how cool his life was. He shot back (pretty angrily)…

Guy: What? Why? Why? How?

I narrated the entire story to him and said he should thank his stars for; his wife picks his favorite beer for him every month.

What I heard after that was pretty sad… I was feeling a lot better now!

That night… (it was a Friday night)

Wife: Honey, I will put this in the fridge, it needs to be really cold right?
Hubby: Okie dear!

Wife: Tomorrow, we are going to have a fantastic day! Total relaxation! Get up late in the morning, some breakfast, then head massages and then…and then…and then…

At this point usually guys falter. So did this poor guy. He failed to check out what those “then” meant! He thought, “have beer”, “have good lunch”, “have …” what not!

Saturday:

It was a rainy day…

All went to plan till the massage part started.

Wife: Honey! (calls out from the kitchen). I am not able to find the powder which I had bought last time around at the organic beauty shop.
Hubby: Oh! Can you check the left cupboard please?
Wife: In the meanwhile, can you please get the beer out. Otherwise, it would be too cold and I can’t put up with too much cold.

Hubby: (Delighted…) Do you want me to open it right now? Its only 11:00 clock dear in the morning!

Wife: So what? Open it…and wait for me. I will be there right away!

Hubby: (thinking and cursing himself – I should have forced her to get more bottles, but anyway, at least we have made a start so it should be fine. There is always next time)

The wife comes out with a plastic bowl in her hand, deftly making some mixture. In a flash she takes the opened bottle of beer and pours little in the bowl, mixes it vigorously till it froths out and in a single action puts it on his head!

Wife: (with a twinkle in her eyes, expectantly asks) – How does it feel? Cool? Are you enjoying it? This is the new mixture which my mom suggested, and beer is the best conditioner for use with this mixture.

The fantasy world fades away from his eyes and thoughts… This is probably the closest he could get to the “Shock and Awe” treatment. For the benefit of non CNN viewing public, “Shock and Awe” was the phrase used for initial US attacks on Afghanistan/Iraq.

He takes some time, musters up all the courage in the world, clears his throat and replies…
Hubby: Huh, ha, phew, honey, it’s cool. I thought something different…

Just then he notices all the loving, caring, gentle, smiling face turn red…*&%$^#@*&…

What ever happened after that is left to your wildest possible imagination…

By the way, WYSIWYG means “What you see is what you get” It’s not always that way you see...and also grass definitely looks greener on the other side J

I had the last laugh; at least, I was better off spared with a little disappointment that I couldn’t get my favorite toy! After all I have a second chance when I could buy it for my kid!

- Ciao

The Prestige

Every great magic trick consists of three acts. The first act is called The Pledge; The magician shows you something ordinary (a bird in a cage), but of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called The Turn; The magician makes his ordinary some thing do something extraordinary (the bird disappears from the cage). Now if you're looking for the secret... you won't find it, that's why there's a third act called, The Prestige; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you've never seen before (the bird re-appears in the cage). This is what every magician lives for to see that look on the face of his audience.

The above quote is from a movie called “The Prestige” which was released in 2006. It is a brilliant movie which specifically brings out the reason why a performer (magician) does anything that he does.

If we extend this thought, it applies to any one of us, in whatever role we play every day, we do it for the prestige. There are around 6.6 billion magicians in this world. Everyday and every single human act of kindness is a magic and miracle!

As a father, it gives me immense pleasure to see the bright smile on my kid’s face, when I bring back the doll which I had hidden away from her. It makes me feel special and a hero. At work, we solve many issues, tackle customers etc, but we do not celebrate here. We wait for the moment to showcase the final act which could be going beyond the call of duty or value addition and the appreciation. The midnight wish on a wedding anniversary, is the pledge, but the look on her face when she sees the little ring under her pillow is the prestige. I could go on and on…

I do remember when I first started writing. It was in my 5th standard when I wrote the crime thriller “Red Handkerchief” J It might sound outrageous when I praise myself but read on… I remember what motivated me to write the story. It was just to get praise from my grand father on how good my hand writing was. He had given an editorial from The Hindu (News paper) for practice. I felt it extremely insipid and I thought why not write some story – thus was born “Red Handkerchief” … I took this a little further and started participating in creative writing and other such events. When I read the blogs, I wondered, what it would be like the whole world reading my thoughts and writings and hence started blogging… Now I want to publish a book!

Imagine what the sheer act of prestige would accomplish if I were to win a Booker prize!!!!! J

I definitely acknowledge that there are great men other than me, so, let us take the case of 2 great prodigies from India. Kunnakudi Vaidyanathan & L.Subramaniam. These two are magicians with violin. One plays for the prestige and the other for a purpose. This is how the perception is among the music lovers. Even though many people and their perceptions do not have a scientific basis, they seem to have got it right. L. Subramaniam went on to become a researcher in violin and music in general. Kunnakudi on the other hand though much praised for his innovations he is more known as a show man.

KJ Yesudas a great south Indian carnatic singer, once said, “I sing cine songs for my stomach and carnatic for my soul” and SP Balasubramanian another great cine singer (though having a Guinness record) and having performed the final act of Prestige, still searches for his soul in carnatic music.

Anyway, coming back to the story, any performer (read it as “anybody”) lives and performs for the prestige. It takes time for anybody to transcend from a stage of sense gratification to soul realization. I endeavor to write on topics which I strongly feel about, use words which could influence people, the style that would be enjoyable by all and want my writings to be passed on to the coming generations. But I guess, still I have not enjoyed the ecstasy of the prestige.

I hope to leverage it judiciously and last but not the least I am keen not to end up searching for my soul in the prestige!

-Ciao

Wannabe!

Every one of us have told this kind of statement one time or the other..."I want to be a ...", "I wish I were a..." - These kind of statements are made by people irrespective of the age, caste, creed, religion, sex, socio economic status etc.,

Theory: Everybody wishes or wants to be someone else…

I have also been there and when I think back - I feel this phenomenon of Wannabe! Is quite bizarre. When the "Have not’s’ " wish for something it might sound pretty convincing, but when the "Haves" also wish for things that are easily available, I am bemused.

I presume most of you would have seen interviews of famous people. Say for example the recent Madhuri mela (festival) we had where in she gave interviews to every single channel possible as a part of her promo for Aaaja Nachle (Movie). A question that stood out was from a lass who told that she admired Madhuri and wished if she could be like her and went on to ask "What would you have been, if you were not an actress? Or what did you want to be as a child?" OK...What was she trying to arrive at? To top it all Madhuri answers, "I would have been a micro-biologist" - Huh! I can bet my bottom dollar - she would have been the most beautiful Micro biologist ever (though that might not have been the credit any micro biologist would have craved for).

Any way, what am I trying to put across is that there is no exception to the rule that someone always wants to be someone else... I guess this example is sufficient to corroborate my theory.

A couple of questions haunt me - Will this phenomenon of Wannabe! - kill aspirations and hence overall development of our human race and in turn the planet? Or is this the reason for degradation of basic human values, specifically today in the so called "third world"/"developing" countries and the developed countries in the past?

I am inclined to look the other way - Is there anyway for a lesser mortal other than attaining nirvaana, reach a state where they could be content with who they are?

A pristine and precise quote reads, "Be happy you are what you are considering all the people you could have been." Is this the mantra - I am looking for?

- Ciao