© 2006-09 Sundararaman Viswanathan, All Rights Reserved.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Boys and their Toys…

After wedding guys get very unromantic and insensitive. There are no more flowers, pink sweaters, soft toys, ice creams, cards, incessant sms etc., This is a usual crib among girls. Ever wondered why?

Just like the compartmentalization concept which I discussed with regards to a girl’s brain, guys have a unique pattern in theirs. I am yet to christen it. If you would like to do the honors please do so in the comments section and I will incorporate it in the article.

As kids, boys are quite happy to play with one toy at any given moment. Even with the toys, there are some requirements. The toy should be animate, make some noise, it definitely should be a no brainer and easy to use, possibly be remote controlled. The one single toy would be his world. It would be easy to feed him, make him sleep and also cajole him when the hell breaks loose with this toy being around. The day the toy stops doing any of the above mentioned functions, the toy would be worth less and would not excite him anymore…

By now I am sure you would understand the plot of this piece…anyway go on, there are few more instances which you would appreciate.

The day a kid goes to school, one of the things that keeps him going is that the fact that there is progression or change every year in terms of the subjects he reads, languages he learns, teachers, friends etc., and he eagerly looks forward to migrating from shorts to pants. Basically there are things which keep changing around him which will get him going. Also, please note, a guy does not have just one friend, but has friends! Usually, quite a lot of them... Bench mate, class mate, gym mate, team mate, lab mate, and as he graduates into adult hood, there is sometimes a pub mate too… Thus there are quite a few people with whom he interacts and this keeps him going.

Mind you in spite of so many people, there is no one seeking any commitment or tying him to a single thing at any point till now.

Also, you would have observed the behavior where the guys go gaga about their new electronic gadget every time they get a new one. Be it with Walkman, diskman, MP3 player, an iPod, or a new watch, latest model of mobile phones, ring tones and the list is just endless.

They just keep moving. At a stage when they have money, a job, an educational qualification, what next? Well, obviously it is a girl. When guys are dating or when they are in love just observe the length to which they go towards convincing, apologizing or conveying their love. It is just phenomenal.

After all this excitement and exuberance in their life the first few months of married life is bliss. Girls get floored with every act of love, care, affection, availability and the expectations sore high like the stock market bull run. Suddenly there is a shift. It comes like the tectonic plate shift that causes Tsunami’s and earthquakes. They become moronic, un-romantic, insensitive and loose the sheen I would say. Why?

Girls you should have the answer by now. And guys if they don’t get it please let them know. Girls have to keep the guy on his toes, keep him excited with something new every day and all the time. Because what they are now looking at is to becoming fathers and bringing up their child, building a new home, earning more money etc., and such an endless list till his grave.

All of us humans (man / woman) do think in the same manner, but men in general work today to live tomorrow. They forget to enjoy today if it is uneventful. Get yourselves a renewed husband.

I have said it all, I want you to think on this, is it valid or just a figment of my imagination… Let me know.

Sensible reticence!

This is quite a simple word but has complex meaning. The basic premise of this piece is that guys are really frank with their girl friends / wives and have had to pay the price for it, sometimes the ultimate price of losing them.

If you are reading this line, it means you do concur or probably think so.

You must have heard or seen situations that are black or white, right or wrong, love or hate. Also, you might have heard or seen things which are not quite clear and is grey, legally right but morally wrong, and sometimes you like but not love. Yes I am talking about the “grey matter”, things that appeal to the brain and not to heart.

Now that I have set the stage, let me plunge into what I set out to communicate.

Whenever the guys are in a relationship we think there needs to be complete frankness between the partners. This drives us to divulging or emptying all the feelings, thoughts and actions which we go through. During this process we sometimes end up getting hurt or hurting each other.

Giving this a thought, I understand and believe that great relationships are not built on complete frankness but on sensible reticence. I read this sometime ago. This does work believe me.

Does this mean we should lie? No. It means that we need to be careful while communicating our feelings, thoughts and actions. Sometimes, it might be irrelevant, untimely or unnecessary. It is always better to be in a situation when you have not said enough rather than you have. By being careful with our talks and actions we are not being unfaithful. It is quite OK for someone you love not to know every thing you thought, said or did.

Ciao