“Embarrassment is the proudest virtue of a loser!” – Sundararaman Viswanathan
Yes!!! I coined this quote!
“At least to my knowledge”, “in my humble opinion”, “If I am not wrong”, “hope you don’t mind”…. Every day, we are faced with a typical situation where in we hide behind these phrases.
Why is that so? Are we trying to be polite? No!!! We do so, simply because, we fear of “embarrassment”, if proven otherwise!
Why do people fear about getting embarrassed? Because, it could prove fatal! Yes, people do commit suicide because they got embarrassed!!!
Last week, it was just another meeting at our local Toastmasters club*.
Again a session of table topics, and the usual suspects walked up to the lectern, got their topic, and fumbled with words (mind you “words” not even “sentences”) for about 10 seconds and walked back for a round of applause! It is customary in Toastmasters to applaud no matter how the performance was, just to encourage people! As someone who believes, “there’s nothing called trying” and “you are either a winner or a mere spectator”, I never applaud for poor performance. There was never a sense of purpose in my applause at the club meetings… So, it was just the ritualistic thud thud thud...
I used to wonder, well, how embarrassing it would be for those losers who couldn’t even manage to speak for 10 seconds… This was happening for quite some time. That evening, after the meeting, during a casual talk, I stumbled on a startling revelation that one of the speakers was the wife of the President of our club. The very moment I came to know of this fact, my world view about “embarrassment” had changed for ever.
This man, the President of our club, a man of great stature, admired for his public speaking skills, did not have any qualms or embarrassment in bringing his wife who had pretty inadequate public speaking skills to the very same club. It occurred to me that he would have been a loser if he had felt embarrassed and had left his wife at home. By not feeling embarrassed and bringing his wife to the very same club, he showed extraordinary levels of maturity, sincerity and importantly lead by example as to how one could be successful if he/she were to shed the cloak of embarrassment. I am sure his wife and our fellow Toastmaster one day will become a competent speaker!
When I extrapolated the same to other speakers who fumble at the lectern week after week, I could only admire them. The new perspective which I acquired, helped me identify the enduring spirit in people, who, do not feel “embarrassed” but continue to have a go at it week after week just to ensure they improve their public speaking skills…
I have come to realize that one has got a lot to lose by feeling embarrassed.
I have been dying to have a line or quote from myself which people could use… So, when I framed the quote “Embarrassment is the proudest virtue of a loser”, I was delighted! But as always, there was a thought lingering at the back of my mind that I might make a big fool out of myself by claiming something like framing a quote. So, I wanted to dilute my stance by adding one of the escape lines mentioned above like “in my opinion…embarrassment is the….”
But then, I realized that I am going back to the same old bad habit of wearing the cloak of embarrassment! I have shed that cloak now. Instead, if someone can prove that the quote was already formed, I will apologize and get on to the job of forming another quote. Otherwise, I will never frame a quote in my life!!!
Also, had people who committed suicide because of embarrassment, just stepped back and thought for a second, they would have realized that it is always a better choice to live and be embarrassed for a moment rather than die and be remembered as a coward!
Next week when I go to my local Toastmasters club, my applause will have a sense of purpose and will probably louder than anybody else’s!
Remember! “Embarrassment is the proudest virtue of a loser”!!!
- Ciao
* Toastmasters International is a movement started in 1924 at Santa Anna
For more details visit: www.toastmasters.org
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